The Liberal Bias: A Prediction for the Next Election Cycle

Hello to all of my fellow left-wing, pinko-commie nuts! We’re approaching the end of the semester, and (if you’re a senior like me) graduation is coming up. This made me realize that I won’t be around next semester, and I feel I would be remiss if I did not give you all my prediction for the next presidential election.

First, I think there is little chance that the democratic primary is not going to end with Hillary Clinton winning the nomination. It just makes good sense for a party to get the first woman president in America’s history right after they got the first black president. I was not really a fan of Clinton during the 2008 primary. I liked the idea of having another Clinton in the White House, but she made a comment about violence in video games and it came off a bit too Fox News-ish for my tastes. That being said, if she does take the presidential election then I expect we will end up with another budget surplus like with did with Bill Clinton.

Of course, Clinton will have some obstacles to overcome as the race proceeds. There will be Benghazi, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the right wing somehow manages to bring up the fact that Bill didn’t have Osama Bin Laden deported from Sudan to American in the mid-90’s and somehow make it about her.

Talking about the Democratic primary is kind of boring. The Republicans were a lot more fun to watch last election cycle, and they have not disappointed so far.

First, Libertarian Republican Ron Paul seems to have plans to run, which will be interesting because his son, Rand Paul (R-KY), is almost certainly set to be a major contender in the next election. The senior has never been much of a realistic possibility though. I have always had a soft spot for the man’s foreign policy, but he is just too liberal for the staunchly conservative Republican Party. If there’s a Paul to look out for this election cycle, it is Rand.

My personal favorite in the Republican primary is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said that he did not stand a chance for the nomination just because he put partisan politics aside over all issues regarding Hurricane Sandy. He was even viewed as a traitor when he refused photo-ops with Romney and took practical talks with Obama.

That was all before Christie met with billionaire contributor Sheldon Adelson in Vegas. Christie is proving to be a tradition Republican candidate and nuzzling up to the super-rich. Forbes magazine puts him as the eighth richest person in the world. If you read last week’s column about the new relaxed campaign finance regulations then you know this is a serious friend to have when you’re running for president.

My vote for the Republican candidate goes to Christie just for the money he is probably going to pull in.

I am expecting Clinton to win the presidential election (see title of column for explanation). I am fully expecting Christie to play a repeat of Romney, though I don’t think he’ll do anything as foolish as that “47% Video” that leaked during Romney’s campaign. I think he’ll start out as a source of contention within the Republican Party for being too liberal in the primaries, and then come across way too conservative during the presidential election.

My vote for “Best Train Wreck Campaigns” is a tie between Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Utah Senator Mike Lee. Cruz is looking more likely of the two to run, but both are being championed by Tea Partiers like former Vice Presidential nominee, and possible human PEZ dispenser, Sarah Palin (every time she says “You betcha” I should be rewarded with sugary chalk). Both Senators were first championed as opponents of Obamacare, then chastised as trouble makers who caused a government shutdown. If you watch Ted Cruz during debates, try and see if you can tell if he’s really talking or just trying to lick the peanut butter off the roof of his mouth.

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