Incoherent Ramblings: The Rolling Stone of Failure

There’s something nice about winning, ya know? The idea that you succeeded against all odds just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside like you’ve got cotton in there or something. Note that if you do have cotton for insides you should probably go see a doctor right away… after reading this column of course. Winning is great. But what about losing? Nobody likes to lose. That’s for sure. But I think that a lot of the time losing is given a bad rep. I think that failure is underrated. Actually, I think that, as college students, failure should be something we all not only expect but, well not look forward to, but accept.

Having been described as being one of the patron saints of failure, I can say that I’ve had more than my fair share, (that or maybe I’m just being a whiny little man), can thus talk about this subject like I’m some type of expert and be believed. Am I an expert in failure? Is that something to be proud of? That my dear, dear reader,  is up to you to decide. Whether I am or I’m not some horrid individual mentally and emotionally scarred by failure aside, let’s get down to business.

What is there to say about failure? Well here are a few things right off the top of my head:

1. It happens to everyone. Yes you too. You’re not a special snowflake. I’m sorry.
2. It really isn’t that bad; and if it is, I’m sorry and this doesn’t apply to you.
3. It’s probably the only infinite thing in the universe not including space and time both of which the jury is still out on by the way.

Now most people would say that these things are negative, and, yeah, I guess they kind of are. But depending on how you look at it, they could be good things too. Funny how that works out. Since I realized that failure is part of life and that I’ll never be rid of it, I came up with a mostly, and  I repeat mostly, fool proof method of dealing with it in ways aside from diving into depression and eating twelve Cinnabon *TM  cinnamon buns.  I just smile and consider it a learning experience. That’s it. Nothing else. And because I actually enjoy learning new things I’m able to glean some type of hope out of what could be a horribly depressing and twisted situation.

Point is, and I’ve stated this several times both in real life and in my writing, failure ain’t going anywhere. Not even when they build the Personification Machine which turns abstract things into concrete things. Nor is it going away when soon after the creation of the Personification Machine when the teleported is created and the personification of failure is pushed through it. If you’re confused, just do this: remember that I can see the future, remember that what I say really doesn’t have any bearing on your life, and remember that this is a humor column and that it’s supposed to be funny while making you think, that should solve everything. Back to the focus.  Failure is here to stay and honestly that’s a good thing. Believe me when I say that never ending success would mean the end of the world. You nor I would be here and more importantly even if humanity survived itself and the slew of icemen, diamond sharks, hyper death bears, and saber tooth tigers that have tried and failed at effectively murdering our species, it’d be boring. Failure livens things up. It adds risk to life and thus makes it livable.

Also it’s the best teacher you’ll ever have. You don’t learn jack from winning but you learn a heck of a lot for losing. It make you better at whatever it is that you failed at, but only if you take advantages of it as a time to learn. Also (and this is the last also) it means that you tried something, which is more than people who don’t try things can say. Better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all.

So get out there and start failing, and by failing I mean trying, learning, and over all enjoying life. That’s an order, ya dig? Kirksey out.