Love or Manipulation By Active Minds With Ashley Nicholes

On Feb 8., Ashley Nicholes talked about love and manipulation in relationships. She started off by explaining the definition of manipulation and what a manipulative partner looks like. She then spoke about individuals that can attract manipulators such as caretakers, forgivers, people who are easy going, people who have a lot going for themselves, and people who have good hearts. These are examples that manipulators look for to find someone as an easy target. Nicholes continued to say, “they’re hidden messages in every word.” Emotional appeals, black and white (either or), false flattery, incredulity, empty promises, quoting out of context, ridiculing, and demonizing are all messages that are hidden in words.

As Nicholes was explaining these points, the guests were responding in agreement: “respecting my boundaries does not mean stop what you are doing because I set those boundaries, it just means respect my boundaries.” Before she moved to her next point she reminded the students, saying, “your feelings are valid.”

Her next segment,”Are You Loving You?” began by asking those in attendance, “what is self love and why is it important to have?” The guests answered with numerous definitions. Nicholes made a point and stated, “if you love someone else and not love yourself, your love is weak, and you perform self harm living empty.”

Her next segment looked at how to develop and/or maintain self love in your relationship. The answer is to maintain a degree of space and independence, be the master of your own happiness, set yourself with true value, set boundaries, and have standards. As she was explaining each of those points, the audience was responding with snaps and “mmhmm’s” showing they related to her key points.

Her last segment was called “What Inspired Me.” This segment was about what inspired her to speak about love and manipulation. Ashley noted, “my goal, dream, and vision was to help individuals have knowledge of what manipulation looks like.”

At the end, she passed around a board and asked everyone to write what they will improve in their relationship no matter who it is with.

Ashley Nicholes encouraged everyone to be mindful of the small things that can turn into manipulation.